The Longest Essay Ever

On By In 1

I am writing something. Yes, I plan to make it the most boring thing ever written. I go to the store. A car is parked. Many cars are parked or moving. Some are blue. Some are tan. They have windows. In the store, there are items for sale. These include such things as soap, detergent, magazines, and lettuce. You can enhance your life with these products. Soap can be used for bathing, be it in a bathtub or in a shower. Apply the soap to your body and rinse. Detergent is used to wash clothes. Place your dirty clothes into a washing machine and add some detergent as directed on the box. Select the appropriate settings on your washing machine and you should be ready to begin. Magazines are stapled reading material made with glossy paper, and they cover a wide variety of topics, ranging from news and politics to business and stock market information. Some magazines are concerned with more recreational topics, like sports card collecting or different kinds of hairstyles. Lettuce is a vegetable. It is usually green and leafy, and is the main ingredient of salads. You may have an appliance at home that can quickly shred lettuce for use in salads. Lettuce is also used as an optional item for hamburgers and deli sandwiches. Some people even eat lettuce by itself. I have not done this. So you can purchase many types of things at stores.

If I drive around, I sometimes notice the houses and buildings all around. There are also pieces of farm land that are very large. Houses can be built from different kinds of materials. The most common types are brick, wood, and vinyl or synthetic siding. Houses have lawns that need to be tended. Lawns need to be mowed regularly. Most people use riding lawnmowers to do this. You can also use a push mower. These come in two varieties: gas-powered and manual. You don’t see manual push-mowers very much anymore, but they are a good option if you do not want to pollute the air with smoke from a gas-powered lawnmower. I notice that many families designate the lawnmowing responsibility to a teenager in the household. Many of these teenagers are provided with an allowance for mowing the yard, as well as performing other chores, like taking out the trash, washing the dishes, making their bed, and keeping the house organized. Allowances are small amounts of money given by parents to their children, usually on a weekly basis. These usually range from 5 dollars to 15 dollars, sometimes even 20 dollars. Many parents feel that teenagers can learn financial responsibility with this system.

Now I will talk about farm land. Farm land can be identified by some common features. They almost always consist of a very large patch of dirt with small green plants lined up in very long rows. You may sometimes see farm equipment riding over these rows, like tractors or combines. These machines help farmers grow more crops in less time. They are a very helpful invention. Some different types of crops are soybeans, cotton, corn, tomatoes, tobacco, and lettuce (which I mentioned earlier). Most crops are used as food, and can be defined as either fruits or vegetables. Some are commonly eaten raw, after being rinsed in water to remove any dirt. Some are often cooked, which helps give them a more pleasant taste and makes them easier to chew. A very versatile vegetable is the potato. It can be eaten raw, or it can be cooked in a variety of ways. They can be baked, and many people like to add butter to them. They can be mashed, and a lot of times brown gravy or milk gravy is poured on top of them. They can be cut into thin strips and fried. Typically a large amount of grease is required to prepare potatoes in this style, but they are easy to make and easy to eat. You can order them at several fast-food restaurants. Potatoes can also be boiled, stewed, and scalloped. There is a wide variety of options available to you when cooking potatoes.

Some other types of crops grown on farm land are used for other purposes. Cotton is used to make clothing (which I also mentioned earlier). It is a very versatile and inexpensive material for clothes. Such items as shirts, pants, socks, and underwear can be made from cotton. The process of converting cotton from a cotton plant to clothing is fairly complicated. Today, cotton is harvested more efficiently through the use of the cotton gin, invented by Eli Whitney many years ago.

Tobacco is another type of crop. It is used in making cigarettes. A lot of people smoke cigarettes, even though many medical sources have identified them as harmful to people’s health. Warnings are printed on cigarette packages reminding people of possible dangers resulting from smoking. Cigarettes are available in several brands, including Marlboro, Salem, and Virginia Slims. There is a brand called Kool, but I don’t know whether they are still available at most outlets. Tobacco farming is a large industry, and currently there is debate about it. Recently the government decided on some regulations that cost tobacco companies a large amount of money.

If you notice, some farm lands have animals living on them. Most of these are cows, and there are also pigs, sheep, and goats living on farms. Some are raised for the milk they provide. This milk goes through several processes to ensure that it is not contaminated before it is made available to consumers at stores (which I mentioned earlier). Another use for farm animals is meat. Three popular types of meat are beef, pork, and chicken. Beef comes from cows. Pork comes from pigs. Chicken comes from chickens, but you probably knew that. These animals are raised to become plump and healthy, then they are killed, sometimes at slaughter houses. The meat is then removed from their bodies, cleaned, and made available at a variety of stores and restaurants. Sometimes this process can seem gross, but it is part of an advanced ecological food chain on earth. Just like birds eat worms and tigers eat deer, human beings eat cows and pigs. The main difference is that we don’t eat animals raw. We cook the meat to remove blood, fat, and germs from it. We also season our meat with salt or different kinds of sauces. The end result is food that is very tasty and is healthy for us.

Farmers do not like trespassers. If a farmer sees one, he will sometimes shoot at them with a shotgun that he owns. Trespassing is against the law. Laws are created by government to prevent people from living in fear. They are meant to provide safety for citizens. Our government in America consists of a legislative branch, an executive branch, and a judicial branch. The legislative branch makes laws based on the concerns of citizens they represent. The executive branch consists of the President. This person enforces the law, and he has certain other duties like declaring war and approving bills prepared by members of the legislative branch. The President is also considered the leader of our country. The judicial branch interprets the laws. This branch consists of the courts and the trials held in them. Here a judge and jury determine from evidence presented by lawyers whether someone is guilty of breaking a law. Initial law enforcement takes place among police officers. They are the first people to encounter situations where a law is being broken. If a criminal (law-breaker) becomes too violent or hostile, they will use guns or mace or nightsticks to administer immediate punishment. Their goal is to bring the criminal under control, so that he can receive a punishment determined by members of the judicial branch of government. Punishments mostly include time in jail, but they can also include fines and, in extreme cases, the death penalty. There is controversy surrounding the death penalty.

Children play with toys. This is common to almost all kids. Toys come in a very wide variety. Boys tend to like cars, action figures, and toy weapons. Girls tend to like dolls, toy kitchens, and make-up. Both of them like building or assembling things, be it with Legos, blocks, Play-Doh, or something similar. Toys can be found at most stores, and these days entire stores are dedicated to selling only toys. The most popular of these is Toys ‘R’ Us (with a backwards “R”). Their mascot is Geoffrey the Giraffe. Children love to go to Toys ‘R’ Us and look at the wide variety of toys available. Most children receive the greatest quanitity of toys on their birthdays, or during the holiday season in December. For the majority of children, this holiday is Christmas. For Jewish children, the holiday is Channakuh. Either way, the kid gets presents during this time, and most of these presents are toys.

Christmas is a holiday which has gradually become centered around the character “Santa Claus” and his elves and reindeer. Children are told that Santa’s elves build their toys, and Santa delivers them personally to each house in the world by riding in an airborne sleigh hauled by nine reindeer, including Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, who leads the way. Another popular Christmas character is Frosty the Snowman. Frosty is basically any snowman that comes to life. So during Christmas, many children build snowmen, and some of them hope that theirs might come to life. But all of these characters are myths. The true origin of Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus, who founded the religion of Christianity a couple of thousand years ago. Many popular Christmas carols deal with his story, such as “Joy to the World” and “Silent Night.”

Other holidays include Thanksgiving, Halloween, and Independence Day. Thanksgiving has become a tradition of preparing large quantities of food for a large gathering of people, mainly family and friends. This meal usually features turkey or ham as the main course. Turkey and ham are both kinds of meat (which I mentioned earlier). The meal usually also consists of dressing and a wide assortment of vegetables (which I also mentioned earlier). The origin of Thanksgiving is usually traced to the days of the pilgrims, who were the first settlers in America. They made peace with the native people, the Indians, and together enjoyed a large feast, thanking God for providing them with such an abundance. (Their concepts of God were probably very different.)

Halloween is the holiday when people dress in costumes to look like other characters. Most of these are children, who go from door to door in different neighborhoods to request candy from the people living there. They usually say “trick or treat” then receive a treat. Very rarely does the person in the house respond with a trick. Halloween has some sort of demonic origin that I am not quite sure about, but the name derives from “All Hallow’s Eve.” I will not say much about Independence Day, but it is the day Americans celebrate the anniversary of our independence from Britain. Most families purchase fireworks during this holiday and set them off in their lawns (which I mentioned earlier).

America gained independence from Britain in the late 1700’s after the Revolutionary War. Britain was hoping to extend its empire across the Atlantic Ocean, but the colonists who settled the territory did not want to be under Britain’s control, with their various taxes and regulations. Both sides were very passionate about their position on the issue, so a war occurred. This war featured a few heroes, including George Washington and Paul Revere. George Washington became America’s first president when we gained independence. I am not sure what happened to Paul Revere. The Declaration of Independence was written before the war by Thomas Jefferson in 1776 and made clear the position of the colonists. It was signed by many important people, including Ben Franklin and John Hancock. Ben Franklin is well-known for many things. One of these is inventing electrical conductors in the form of lightning rods. A famous tale is that he flew a kite with a small piece of metal somewhere on the string during a lightning storm. This was an effective way to test his theory. Another thing Ben Franklin is known for is publishing Poor Richards Almanac. This was like a magazine and contained some of his famous writings and quotations. One famous quote was “Tell me, I forget. Teach me, I remember. Involve me, I learn.” Maybe this had something to do with why he flew that kite.

Trees are one of our most important natural resources. They are made of wood, and wood can be made into a variety of products. Some of the more obvious kinds are furniture, houses, and toothpicks. However, wood can also be made into paper. When I first heard this, I was skeptical, but it is true. Paper is a very important product in our society. Writers and artists have greatly benefited from the invention of paper. With only some paper and a pen or pencil, a writer can produce stories and poems that can captivate readers. They can also write down historical facts about their society. Actually, these writings don’t become historical until years later. At the time, the writings could probably be considered news. Artists use paper for their drawings and paintings. They can also use canvas. Drawings and paintings can be very beautiful. They can depict a wide variety of subjects, including flowers, animals, landscapes, and people. They can be realistic or impressionistic. Some paintings also attempt to convey emotions merely by the way the colors are combined and the brushstrokes are applied. This is a modern or contemporary approach to art. Many people think this approach does not require as much talent as the realistic styles.

I will end my writing here. I have tried to make it very boring, and I hope I have succeeded. There are plenty of boring documents available for you to read. Check your public library for more information. You can also find boring materials at a bookstore or on websites. Sometimes this information can be found in magazines (which I mentioned earlier).

Update

A wonderful soul has provided an audio narration of the first paragraph:

Posted on in Bread

IT’S INTERESTING to see how history is distorted in the act of grasping it: how it bends to fit the mind of the person who takes it in. You can investigate a historical epoch and watch as others, arriving at disparate conclusions, paint a portrait with a selection of colors chosen to fulfill their needs. A man is bound to feel that in the careless approach of others, he himself stands accused: is he not guilty of the same crime, of distorting history to his own ends, lacking merely the person with sufficient subtlety to call him to account?

Joachim Fest said that the political maturity of the German people came only after the loss of their inner, spiritually romantic “interior”– the relic of feudalism that had not yet given way. This world of glorious Heroes and Grand Gestures which Wagner seeked to portray in music, and which Hitler forged a connection to largely through Wagner’s operas, apparently watching Siegfried 30 or more times. Ah, Heroic artwork.

One of the main differences between the lingering feudalistic mindset of Germany and the individualist mindset which was rising in the West, was the relationship to authority. In the West, it was gradually being understood that self-interest could be reliably deferred to when dealing with one’s superiors– and even the concept of a superior, of someone placed above oneself in the natural order, was becoming incomprehensible. In Germany, respect for authority still had it’s unquestioning, deferential, semi-religious quality. Hitler’s image was crafted to act as a catch-all for stray deference: an intellectual, a man of letters, a soldier, a man furiously dedicated to his country, pick which aspect of him you want to respect, but by all means pay respect.

Fest concludes his Opus with the observation that the Germans finally matured politically when they lost the belief in glorious past ages and future utopias. He said: “They ceased to believe in a past that did not exist.” That line stuck out at me: ceased to believe in a past that did not exist.

The Great Trek is a series of documentaries about the destruction of the former Prussian territories, Silesia and the Sudetenland. As I have read many books written by Prussian refugees, I am always interested to hear the tone in which they air out their sense of remiss at their hard turn of fate: most commonly I find a wistful, remembrance-filled resignation adopted in old age, which overlays and betrays the powerful resentment and grievance of their youthful years. It is like a coat of white paint on the walls of a room that was formerly orange. As an old person, I presume it’s easy to make peace, with the grave in front of you; for young people, it’s clearly very hard not to fight, when a fight presents itself.

In my research into this topic I twice came across the figure of an august old Dame, describing with nostalgia the landscapes of Prussia and lamenting the loss of the beaches, fields, and the uniqueness of that place which – I imagine – speaks to former inhabitants in language inviolate, untranslatable to foreign ears.
In these two particular cases, the women were both advocating the reacquisition of these territories and resettlement of refugees there. Although unlike Derbyshire, I would never advise these people how to feel, I do have doubts as to the final reality of their vision of Prussia Regained. What kind of future do they want to find out there?

I tend to the view that a person who does not live in memories and scrap-books is more alive than he that does, and as person who lives in the present, one often sees this adage confirmed in the contrast between memory and reality: “You can never go home again”. So I tend more to sympathize with the view of one Sudeten-German who was glad that his home town, Duppau, had actually been deserted: this freed him from the pain of having to see it become czech. This point of view tends to the opinion that memories are sweetest preserved in all the irreality of a remembrance: the nearer you come to them, the more you seek to find the reality behind them, the more they fall apart and become dirt. To put it another way, the past could have no sweeter distillation than the way we drape it and frame it in our own minds– subtracting the ambiguity, the negative feelings, the less-than-extraordinary character which, we would be forced to admit, characterizes 90% of our time on this planet. Shakespeare made King Henry say these words:

If all the year were playing holidays,
To sport would be as tedious as to work;
But when they seldom come, they wish’d for come,
And nothing pleaseth but rare accidents.

____   _____

The reality of history seems to depend on three factors: texture, emotion, and atavism. The more of these three a historical passage has for the reader, the more profound the resonance and the more significant the history is to it’s reader.

Texture.
The ancient world is less accessible for us not knowing how to visualize it’s objects. What did a book look like to the Greeks? A vase? A jar? Yes, you can find some images. What percentage of books looked like that, what percentage of vases, jars, urns? What did the people dress like? Insofar as the description of events is concrete and occurs in the physical world, the process of building a mental model in which first to ‘view’ the actual events described in history, is extremely problematic. All of us have some vague knowledge of the scenery of ancient Greece and Rome– very recent developments now allow these visions to become quite accurate. But this world never impressed itself on your senses, it never grasped you, housed you, as an environment, and neither has a similar environment done so. The powerfully visual element of human experience is utterly lacking, and we are invited to use imagination to body forth pictures of Alcibiades and Plato: well, fine, but vivifying a dead world with pictures from your own fancy doesn’t square very well with the truth. People have to do this, otherwise they find it difficult to maintain interest in a mental model that they cannot “see” in some sense. Yet a texture spun out of your own mind cannot forever grasp your fascination as a source of knowledge: and this factor alone corrupts to some extent the study of history as periods become farther removed in time. The false texture imported from the present makes the mental models ever more implausible.

Emotion.
Would the two Prussian ladies want to live alone in Prussia? What made their childhoods so special to them? Very probably it was the presence of now dead family members. Other human beings form the framework in which we experience any large emotional reality. So to imagine that a place has importance without the network of family and friends who surrounded you during your life in that place is misleading. Were it not for Mother and Father, the house would have no special memories. The presence of other people and shared experience gives the basis of emotion to a place or a historical event. The past is less interesting because the farther back one goes, the less people one knows. This is probably why nationalists usually manage to know the history of their country and not that of others: the ability to achieve an emotional importance through kinship gives this history it’s interest. If your dad says English history is important, and you love him, English history becomes important to you.

Atavism.
History provides an opportunity for analogous personalities to seek one another’s remains and works. Most especially, the “rarer” personalities can seek one another out: people of rare mental gifts can find solace in the writing of people with similar gifts. People with a certain propensity can find others of similar propensity. One of the strange historical links, which in it’s crass obviousness almost makes one embarrassed to be human, is the fact of Caesar visiting Alexander’s grave and weeping, Napoleon visiting Caesar’s grave, and Hitler visiting Napoleon’s grave.
A more obvious atavism could not exist, than that which is demonstrated here.

Notice I did not say that these factors drive historical interest. A good deal of fantasy also motivates interest in history: the handsomeness of the Middle Ages suggest themselves to many a mind for simply aesthetic reasons. I said that these three factors make history real: whether it is the history of your immediate family or the history of your nation, or the history of some ancient dynasty: these things breathe sufficient life into what is dead, to create a mental model that in itself could be viewed as a source of unique experience. Perhaps you felt yourself to be the reincarnation of Henry V: nevertheless the texturelessness of your mental model and it’s failure to stir unique emotions caused by human contact, will ultimately cause it to be discarded as an insufficient source of experience.

____ _____

In what sense is history knowable? What analysis can dissect the portions of human experience transmittable in text– from that part which inevitably is lost? Surely, not all information about our experiences is capable of being conveyed: a large part of this information is unknowable even to the doer, and has been called subconscious. What will ultimately be transmitted in text would not be a very high percentage of the theoretical whole.

I see three substrata that divide history, beginning from your own life’s experience in memories and stretching back to ancient history.

Personal.
This is the most complete sense of an experience, and encompasses all of what a person knows about his own experiences. We could add the excitement of anticipation and fantasy before the experience, the full experience itself, and the cold-blooded analysis that takes place after the experience: thus giving us more information than the person actually possessed at any one given time.  In all likelihood an undistorted delineation of the anticipation of the experience was lost one week after the experience, and an honest sense of the experience was lost several months later: merely “summarized” for significance, which then becomes it’s defining characteristic: even though this was not the essential character of the experience as it was actually perceived. Most of the personal component is lost to history. Poetry is a chance for the personal component to live on in a very haphazardly altered state. Anyone who truly “feels” a poet may have breathed some of the same air as he did: at any rate, this is a poeticized and emotional connection which fails the criteria for scientific inquiry.

Epochal/Factual/Memetic.
This can be gained from a look at the material and spiritual facts of the era, and is one of the most productive areas of history where real knowledge can be gained. It is especially good for literary, highly abstract societies which make use of print: they inevitably betray a lot of their nature in their writings, much more than the mute testimony of rune-stones, spear-tips and Stelae. This is good for forming generalizations about life in this or that time period. Ultimately, it is unsatisfying because it lacks reality, no amount of epochal knowledge can create a compelling model in the personal dimension. This is also an important strata for atavism because one can see how different qualities of one people are brought forth more strongly in one period than another. Atavism however necessarily would require the preservation of the Personal substrata, in the simplified virtuous forms exemplified by Plutarch’s Lives.

Racial and Human.
Not alot of Englishmen retire to the mountains to sip tea and practice calligraphy and meditation. Not alot of Chinamen turn into swashbuckling adventurers. When a Chinamen looks inside himself, he probably finds less swashbuckling and more landlubbing, tea-sipping kind of passivity. Even the filth of the English nation, i.e. Sting, has to go halfway across the world to drink magic potions in a midnight ceremony with an Incan tribe (I read his memoir, Broken Music, to foster conversation with a would-be girlfriend–and

I will never forgive myself!

). In this way the reality of a mental model of a historical period would have to be cross-checked against known facts: the Afrocentric historical hypothe-shizzle has a few centuries of empirical data going against the assertion that Africans once had high culture: we could say with historical evidence that high culture is against their nature. More conclusive of course are the proofs from IQ testing and statistics, which provide a higher resolution to historical sociological analysis.

Likewise, any culture introduced amongst Anglo-Saxons will probably be dynamic by virtue of their dynamism. A culture introduced or developed amongst Chinese will be stable, well-maintained, and perhaps ultimately stagnate for lack of dynamism. In this way a racial component has to be fed into the mental model of a historical epoch.

Lastly, when reasoning to determine the plausibility of certain psychological situations, one can defer to the human element: as much as to say, human beings are this way. This is based on self-knowledge and a cynical, i.e. self-interested view of human nature. For example, an adulatory sonnet addressed to a woman is mating behavior: behind it stands the motivation to an sexual act. Were someone to propose that adulatory poetry addressed to not-yet-won women lacked this dimension and ultimate motivation, they would be proposing a non-cynical view of human nature. That is to say, they would be alleging that secondary drives take priority over primary ones: that the desire to honor and praise, relatively poorly developed in man, at some point came to dominate the reproductive drive, which is the equivalent of a psychological miracle. A poem of this kind stands for 50 midnight visits never consummated, and we don’t know how much poetry never saw paper because the poet actually got what he wanted and was prevented from sublimely striving: how much beautiful verse ended in the graveyard of an embrace, divine numbers silenced with a moan and a sigh. Jesus Christ! It’s three o’clock in the morning!

___ ____

I had long wanted to post an introduction to and synopsis of Friedrich Nietzsche’s On The Use And Abuse of History For Everyday Life, which is my favorite work of his.

In it he delineates three kinds of history: Monumental History, Antiquarian History, and Critical History.

Monumental history is history fueled by a positive valuation. Critical history is history fueled by a negative valuation. Antiquarian history is objective history fueled by no evaluation, the simple act of collecting facts.

Monumental history exists to give children a positive image of their ancestors and inspire men to historic action: it is demonstrable that many of histories greatest actors really were fixated on achieving a high place in history: Nelson, Hitler, Caesar. The particular psychological striving that animated these men is a result of Monumental History. I recommend that Monumental history be promulgated amongst young people to inculcate ambition, pride and self-sacrifice.

Antiquarian history is good history: really, it is real history: a sober reporting of facts. Value-judgments are abstained from as far as is possible.

Critical history is negative history, which calls into question the worth attributed to any specific period. We know it primarily as the demolition of our own Monumental History through the emphasis on the fact that the benefit’s of our history were once not shared with foreigners: The British Empire is a Bad Thing. This is why our history is “bad”: because we weren’t working in the interests of foreign peoples (yet). Children who grow up indoctrinated in this way are perhaps strangely poisoned: they don’t believe in the worth of the community that spawned them, it seems their path out of nihilism will be a particularly difficult one.

But critical history is particularly useful to those who have ingested too much Monumental History: and you can ingest too much of it! Believing too firmly in heroes and grand acts, a grand gesture as justification of one’s worth, and the need to give one’s all in an enormous struggle– that is a way of thinking I invite everyone to try out for themselves with all the seriousness they can muster. It does not lead to stability and self-acceptance. Take it too seriously, and the pantheon of representative symbols on which it is based, and you will suffer as a result. Critical history frees one from this burden by promoting a neutral or even negative evaluation.

__ ___

Half a year ago I went to a big castle built on a hill, where there is a statue of a man on a horse. The castle was actually no longer there, just some ruins. But there are three enormous men, one of them riding a horse, wearing a spiked helmet. My friend climbed up behind the horse and found a case of empty beer bottles– apparently teenagers had been fun-in-nating back there. So I started a conversation with the man on the horse:

PF: Please come to life. I want to see the glory of your Empire.

Man: I can’t.

PF: Please become real, show me the glory of past ages. I have read so much about it and I want to live it now!

Man: I can’t.

PF: Is this what history will forever be to me– a symbol of life, which when I pick it up and shake it, reveals itself as just dead symbols? Will there forever be this contrast between the lifeless thing and the idea it is meant to represent?

Man: Yes.

PF: And whenever I imagine it, it will be fueled with childish fantasy and dreams or have no life at all? It will never spring to life, even if I reconstruct every detail, the breathe of life will still be wanting?

Man: Yes.

PF: Hey Horse! Can you say something more than this dumb guy riding you, he just says three words!!

Horse: Yes, PF, I’ve been listening and I’m afraid you’re correct. History can’t give the satisfaction you seem to be looking for. I’m afraid I’m just a piece of tin, symbol of long dead greatness.

PF: Fuck you, you looked so imposing. [starts crying]

Horse: Yes, but really I’m just tin.

PF: That’s fine… can I publish what you said on my blog?

Horse: Well, what kind of blog is it?

PF: It’s a kind of anti-immigrant, pro-horse type of blog.

Horse: In that case, you may do so, and with my blessing, my son.

So that ends my study of history. I’m no longer interested in sorting out the past. It was very very very long in coming, but I’m well certain of it.

For all I know, my audience here may have consisted of three people, and even that’s a generous estimation given that I counted myself twice, having once dressed up in a costume to be unrecognizable while visiting my own blog entries. Please don’t understand this as a general recommendation, or as the advocacy of any idea, it’s just my personal resignation from being an amateur historian. I can’t stand to see another pretend person vying for pretend power with another pretend person; I can’t stand to see pretend people getting married, betraying each other to their enemies, signing contracts, raising livestock, practicing indoor sports: If I see one more pretend person, I’m going to flip out and imagine myself doing something theoretically terrible to them.

I imagine that’s the beginning of the end of my contributions to this blog, since I don’t know how observations outside of history can contribute to WN, and I don’t want to focus on hard-scrabble politics of the Anglosphere. I’ll stay around though, here and there, I may write a monthly article for MR patterned after the popular woman’s magazine Good Housekeeping, with ideas for recipes and arts-and-crafts projects. In the first episode, should it materialize, we’ll find out how to bake a lovely cinnamon apple tort just in time for autumn– mmm, delicious!

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